50 Things to Do When You're Bored at Hogwarts
by Dreamwriter116
Summary: Between all of the long Quidditch practices,mysteries, near death experiences,and terrifying encounters with Voldemort,life at Hogwarts can get pretty,well,..boring.But,lucky for Harry,Ron,and Hermione,there's plenty of things to do when you've got magic,a whole castle full of witches,wizards,and secret passages,and an endless number of weekends to fill-A series of short stories
1. Chapter 1: A Wacky Weasley Adventure

_Hey everyone! We all have had those days when there's nothing to do, when the whole world suddenly comes to a standstill and it feels as though we might die from boredom. As I am sure that the students of Hogwarts have felt the same at some point during the year, I thought it would be fun to write about how they fill those empty hours. Of course, living in a magical castle, I'm sure they'd wind up in some pretty hilarious situations! I am planning to write this series as a comedy collection of short stories of Harry, Ron, and Hermione's time at Hogwarts (With guest characters from the series) These shorts __DO NOT__ have to be read in chronological order! (Please Note: This series has no real timeline placement within the Harry Potter series, which book it occurs in is irrelevant!) Please read and review, constructive criticism is welcomed, and keep your eyes out for more coming soon!_

Chapter One: Taking a Wacky Weasly Adventure

"Ron, Harry, could you both at least _attempt_ to be a little quieter?" Hermione groaned.

It was another boring Saturday at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The Quidditch match had been canceled on account of the rain and lightning-_again_- and the school had fallen into a mid-October slump. Friends were done catching up from the summer. The teachers had gotten over "easing students into the school year" and were back to giving their long, boring lectures and broom loads of homework. And on top of that, nothing exciting had happened since someone had started the rumor that Seamus Finnigan had blown up Mrs. Norris (which, to everyone's dismay, turned out not to be true).

And so, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were gathered in the Gryffindor Common Room, trying to kill time. The dullness of the past few weeks was beginning to test everyone's patience-even Hermione's(which was surprising to Harry and Ron because of how much time she had spent boasting about how "interesting" and "academically exciting" her classes were). Hermione was sitting by the fire, reading her Advanced Charms and Hexes textbook for the 2nd time this month, while Harry and Ron were playing their way through their fourth set of wizard's chest pieces.

"OK, Hermione, why don't I just tell this knight here he isn't allowed to make any noise next time he smashes Harry's bishop into a million tiny pieces?" Ron snapped sarcastically.

Hermione looked up from her textbook to give Ron and stern glare.

"Oh come'on! You've read through that bloody book how many times already? Give it a rest!" Ron said.

Ron and Hermione had been at each other's throats all day, and Harry was getting sick of it.

"We're sorry, Hermione, we'll try to keep it down," Harry apologized, trying to make peace.

"Oh why bother?" Ron huffed, "Even if we were just sitting here she'd complain that I was breathing too loudly or somethin'."

After his remark, instead of turning around to finish the game, Ron got up off the ground and collapsed on a nearby couch. Harry couldn't blame him, even he was growing sick of chess by now.

"There's nothing to do in this bloody castle," Ron complained.

"We could go visit Hagrid," Harry suggested half-heartedly.

"If you two are bored we could try heading over to the library- I'm sure your minds could do with a little nourishing," Hermione lectured.

"I've been "nourishing my mind all week Hermione!" Ron groaned.

"Yea, with all of the homework Professor McGonagall's been giving us, I feel like my head's about to explode!" Harry exclaimed.

"Even you've got to be getting tired of it by now," Ron teased.

Hermione sighed and closed her book, setting it gently down by her side.

"Well, can you think of anything better to do?" She asked.

Ron thought hard for a minute, then jumped up. "I've got it! I can't believe I forgot about it," he exclaimed, running up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

Harry and Hermione exchanged confused glances until Ron came bounding down the stairs only moments later, a strange roll of parchment in his hands.

"What's that?" Harry asked. It looked almost exactly like the Marauder's Map they had used before Lupin had confiscated it. Apparently, Hermione was thinking the exact same thing.

"Ron! That thing is dangerous! Why would you even think to steal it back from Lupin? You know, he was right about-"Hermione ranted before Ron cut her off.

"This isn't the Marauder's Map," he laughed, "This is just a regular map of Hogwarts."  
"What would we do with that?" Harry asked.

"Well, the map's nothing special, but _this_ is," Ron said, pulling a separate sheet of parchment from behind the map. Words were scrawled in black ink across the parchment, filling up the entire sheet. "It's directions of how to get into all of the secret passages in Hogwarts- I finally convinced Fred and George to give it to me last summer. It was easy, all I had to do was threaten to tell Mum about them switching Percy's candy with a new skydiving snackbox they wanted to test out."

"So you actually want to sneak around the castle through secret tunnels?" Hermione asked.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Harry pointed out.

"Not around, out actually. Wouldn't mind heading over to Hogsmeade for the day, myself." Ron said amusingly.

Harry and Ron looked hopefully at Hermione.

"Fine," she decided, "but only because I really need to pick up some new quills for class."

And with that, the trio was all set to go. Ron led them on a long trip through the castle, trying to find the statue of the Merlin, through which they could supposedly access the secret passage that Fred and George said led to the cellar Zonko's Joke Shop.

"We're almost there," Ron said.

"Ron, are you sure you know where you're going?" Hermione asked. "According to_ Hogwarts: A History_,the statue switches places on a daily basis."

"Yea, I'm sure," Ron said in a tone that sounded to Harry like he couldn't be more unsure of himself if he tried.

Finally, after what felt like hours of walking, Harry spotted the statue outside of the boy's lavatory on the third floor. Ron pulled out his wand and faced the statue. " I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said, tapping Merlin's nose with his wand. The statue pushed back into the wall and split down the middle, separating to reveal a secret tunnel.

Harry and Hermione glanced at him with amusing stares.

"What? You didn't think that incantation only worked on that map, did you?" Ron asked.

Hermione and Harry burst into laughter, shortly joined by Ron.

"Butter Beer here we come!" Ron exclaimed, slipping into the passage.

Harry peeked down the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before following Ron into the tunnel. As soon as Hermione stepped in, the wall closed behind them.

"Lumos," the three whispered together, lighting up their wands.

"I'm not sure about this anymore," Hermione said, "We could get in so much trouble!"

"Lighten up, Hermione," Ron said.

"Ron has a point," Harry added, "It's not like anyone's going to be following us down here!"

"That's right," Ron exclaimed proudly, "No one knows about this tunnel except for Fred and George. Besides, there's really only one way back now-forward."

And so, Harry and a very hesitant Hermione followed Ron down the dark and musty tunnel. The tunnel was long, and very winding. It was so moist in the tunnel that Harry kept bumping into the slimy stone walls because his glasses were fogging up. At last, they saw a dim light in the distance.

"See? What did I tell you?" Ron exclaimed. "Led us right to Zonk-"

Ron stopped mid-sentence and the three froze in their tracks because they heard a voice carried through the tunnel, an unmistakably familiar and drawling voice that could only belong to one person. Professor Snape.

"I thought you said no one knows about these tunnels!" Hermione exclaimed, her voice rising in pitch.

"They don't!" Ron whispered.

"I think the voice is coming from the other end of the tunnel, Hermione," Harry explained.

"What's professor Snape doing at Zonko's?" Ron asked.

"We can't keep going on," Hermione said quickly, "We have to go back!"

"Hermione, there is no back. I don't think we can reopen the entrance from this side!" Ron argued.

"Let's keep going, at least until we can see the room," Harry suggested, "Maybe we can plan an exit when Snape not looking."  
The three inched their way down the tunnel, but the ceiling grew lower and lower, and so they were forced to crawl on their hands and knees. Eventually, they reached the end of the tunnel, a stone wall with horizontal slits.

"A dead end?" Ron exclaimed softly.

But Hermione crept forward and carefully brushed the wall ahead of them. "It's parchment, like on the back of a painting," She whispered. "You might want to come take a look at this."

"I can already see it," Ron huffed.

"Not that! Come here," she said.

Ron and Harry joined her on either side and peered through the cracks in the "wall". The room they found themselves peering into wasn't Zonko's Joke Shop at all. In fact, it could be any more opposite of that fun, whimsical place filled with warmth and laugher. Because the room they found themselves looking into was, in fact, Professor Snape's bedroom. However, this fact wasn't nearly as frightening as the disturbing sight they were watching unfold in front of them. Professor Snape was dressed in white dress robes and standing in front of a full length mirror, his greasy hair slicked back, moving as though he was having a heart attack and a seizure all at the same time. Next to the mirror, on a table, sat a Muggle radio, which was blaring music through the room.

"I've got the magic in me, every time I touch that track it turns into gold, cause everybody knows I've got the magic in me, when I hit the flow the girls come snappin' at me, now everybody wants some presto, magic, magic, magic, magic, magic, magic- oh Snape, you still got it."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were on the verge of tears, shaking with silent laughter.

"Bloody 'ell, what do you think he's doing, Harry?" Ron asked, "If this is what he does with his spare time, he'd definitely not as mad as we think- he's madder!"

"Bonkers!" Harry agreed. And he had thought Snape spent all his time brewing up plans for Voldomort….

"Well, it doesn't really matter what he's doing as long as he's done soon," Hermione said, stifling a laugh, "My legs are getting cramped!"

But it wasn't until two song later that Snape was finally done with his terrible singing, and stepped out into the bathroom.

"We don't have much time, comeon' " Ron exclaimed, pushing open the portrait. He, Harry, and Hermione slipped quietly into Snape's room, making a dash towards the exit. Once they got through the doors, they let out sighs of relief.

"So much for Hogsmeade," Harry said with a laugh.

"I'm gonna kill Fred and George!" Ron exclaimed.

The three headed back to the Gryffindor Tower and in the evening, told everyone all that they had seen. Then they made a plan.

That Monday morning, Gryffindor had potions with Slytherin. Snape was introducing the Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in the world, to the class.

"Of course, Amortentia doesn't create actual love. That's impossible. But it does cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. For that reason, it-" Snape drawled on.

The set up was too perfect.

"Why would you need a love potion, Professor?" Seamus asked, the only one brave enough to talk out of turn in Snape's class. "I thought you had the magic in you?"

Snape was too shocked to even say the word "Detention".


	2. Chapter 2: An Unoffical Quidditch Match

_Thanks for following, please review (constructive criticism is welcomed!)! Have any ideas for new chapters? PM me and I'll try to work them in (I'll give you credit in the intros __ ) I'll update again soon!_

_Chapter Two: An Unofficial Quidditch Match_

"Oh come on, Hermione, it'd be fun!" Ron said.

"Ron, I can't! I can't do this!" Hermione said.

Harry found it amusing, Hermione admitting that she couldn't do something, but he wasn't surprised. From their first flying class as first years, Hermione had never been as confident with a broom as she had been with her books.

"We'll be right next to you the whole time," Harry promised.

"Yea, we won't let you fall! Anyways, it's just a friendly match, not an actual competition, so it's not like anyone's out to get you," Ron added.

The skies were clear, and the air warm with a slight, cool breeze. It was the perfect weather to play Quidditch. So, Harry, Ron, and their friends were getting together to have a match or two in the afternoon after their classes. It was the perfect way to kick off the weekend.

"I,..I can't fly very well," Hermione protested, though it looked as though it pained her to say this.

"We'll help you," Harry assured her.

They were already on their way to the Quidditch field, but Hermione was still insisting to sit the game out and watch in the bleachers. Ron was excited to have a chance for her to join them in the air for once, and so wasn't giving into her whim without a fight. Harry tried his best to help Ron convince her, but he was too distracted. Ron had told him this morning that Ginny would be joining them later, along with Fred and George, and so Harry's head wasn't as clear as it should have been.

When they got there, Fred, George, Ginny, Dean, and Seamus were already warming up.

Ginny waved everyone to the ground when she spotted them.

"Are you guys ready to play?" she asked, "Oh Hermione! Are you playing, too?"

Hermione's eyes darted around wildly, "Um, I don't have a broom." She said meekly.

"We've got one for you, Hermione," Fred said, "thought Ron might-"

"Change your mind," George finished.

Fred and George darted off to the nearest stadium box, returning with two, slightly worn school brooms. George tossed one to Ron. Ginny grabbed the other and offered it out to Hermione.

"You can be on my team, Hermione, I'll stick by your side the whole time," she promised.

Hermione finally grabbed the broom. "Ok."

The friends divided up into two teams: Harry, Hermione, Ginny, and Dean versus Ron, Seamus, Fred, and George.

Ginny grabbed the quaffle and left the bludgers in the case (Hermione happened to _conveniently_ point out that they didn't really have enough players to use them). Seamus released the snitch from its case, and it flitted off in the air. After the count of three, everyone took off. Ginny and Dean, trailed by a very nervous Hermione, passed the quaffle back and forth, as they flew through the air, dodging other players. They had almost reached the goalposts when Fred and George swept in, stealing Ginny's pass.

"Sorry little sis," Fred called out.

"Nothing personal!" George added.

Harry and Seamus hovered above the game, watching for the snitch. Seamus was riding Harry's Firebolt, as a handicap since, unlike Harry, he had no practice at being a seeker, and Harry rode one of the school brooms. He was having a bit of a tough time adjusting to it; its handle hurt his hands and it seemed to fly slightly to the left.

Below them, Hermione was just beginning to become a little more comfortable with her broom. Harry could have sworn Ron was still flying circles around her anyways, still showing off the one thing he was better at then her. But his eyes always seemed to wander from his search for the snitch and from the game back to Ginny. She was so graceful, so fast, so at ease on her broom. Her brow was knotted in concentration, watching intensely as Ron and Seamus passed the quaffle back and forth. She looked very pretty in this light, her face glowing in the sun. Harry was just thinking about this when Dean flew up behind Ginny, nudging her with his broom. Ginny laughed, looking playfully in his direction. Harry immediately felt a wave of jealousy rush through him. She had never looked at him this way. Harry tried to shake it off; she was his best friend's sister. But Harry got the thought out of his head quicker than he thought he would because as he watched Dean and Ginny, he noticed a glimmer of gold flitting by Ginny's hair.

Harry immediately dove on his broom towards the Snitch. Seamus flew just behind him, but Harry was still in the lead. The Firebolt's speed couldn't make up the time Seamus had lost when Harry spotted the Snitch first. The snitch soared up over the game, and Harry and Seamus flew fast and furious to catch it. However, just as Harry stretched out his fingertips, it slipped out of his reach, fluttering off out of the stadium. Why was the Snitch leaving the stadium? Harry had never had this happen before. Harry took off after it, afraid of what Oliver Wood would say if he lost the Snitch. He couldn't let it out of his sight. Seamus followed Harry's tail, and the two flew in pursuit across the grounds. At first, the snitch stayed around the stadium, but fairy quickly it look off over the dirt path that led up to the stadium, and over the black lake. Harry and Seamus tailed the Snitch, but neither one dared to try to grab it when it flew above the murky lake water. The Snitch darted in circles for a while, until it decided to fly off in a different direction: over Hagrid's hut.

Hagrid was outside, giving Fang a bath when Harry and Seamus flew by.

"'Harry? Seamus?"

Fang saw Harry, too, and gave a welcome bark. But the dog caught sight of the snitch and went crazy. He leapt out of the box Hagrid was scrubbing him in and took off after it. The three stayed in pursuit of the Snitch, following it as it flew back, at last, to the stadium.

Back at the stadium, Hermione's broom was going crazy. She was shrieking, barely able to hear Ginny's advice over her own screams.

"Hermione! Pull up! Pull up!" Ginny cried.

Hermione was falling fast towards the ground. Harry and Seamus flew back into the stadium in time to see Hermione pull up on her broom just in time, only to topple forwards off of it, landing on her back. The players landed, rushing over to Hermione. Ron knelt down to help her up, concerned. Fang rushed to Ron's side, licking Hermione's leg playfully.

"Hermione are you ok?" Ginny asked, her voice panicky.

"That was-"George began.

"Brilliant!" he and Fred finished together.

Hermione looked up at her friends, a strange look on her face. She reached behind her back, pulling something out from underneath her. A weak smile formed on her face.

"Yes, I'm ok. But I am never going up on that broom again!"

"Oh come on, Hermione!" Ron protested, "You could at least finish the game, right?"

"I already did," she said, pulling her hand out from behind her back. She opened it to reveal the golden Snitch in her hands. "I landed on the Snitch! We win!"


	3. Chapter 3: Prank Wars

_I had a lot of fun with this chapter, hopefully you will too! Thanks for reading, please review, I'd love to know what you think! (constructive criticism is welcomed!)! Have any ideas for new chapters? PM me and I'll try to work them in (I'll give you credit in the intros __ ) _

_-Miranda_

_**Chapter Two: Prank Wars**_

The Gryffindor Common Room was much more crowded than usual was on a Wednesday afternoon. This was because of the fact that both Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were trying to squish their way into the small sitting room.

"Ouch! That's my foot!" Hermione griped, tucking her feet under her to prevent them from being stepped on again.

"This is mad," Ron muttered, "I can't even walk two inches in here without running into someone! Stupid Sytherins."  
It was the week that everyone both loved and loathed at Hogwarts. One week out of the school year, the four houses would battle each other in a war of sneaky magical pranks, planned hastily at late night meetings in common rooms and carried on out of the radar of the teachers. Prank Week.

This year, Prank Week seemed to drag on, a week of torture and terror rather than fun rivalry. What were supposed to be lighthearted and fun pranks had turned to vicious and cruel attacks on other houses. And it was all due to Slytherin.

"I bet I know who's to blame for all this mess," Harry said.

There was no doubt about it. There was only one person who would be so cruel and so manipulative, only one person capable of organizing and carrying out of such cruel pranks. Draco Malfoy. All week, he had been walking around with a smug look on his face and a gleam in his eyes. It was the perfect opportunity for him. A chance to bully the other students without the threat of getting detention. And he was taking full advantage of it.

So far, the toilets in the Hufflepuff's bathrooms had been charmed with a sticking charm, so once anyone sat down on them would find themselves stuck to the toilet seat. Also, the Slytherins had moved the portrait of the Fat Lady while she was sleeping to a different location so that the Gryffindors kept trying to enter in an empty wall (It had taken forever to find the location of the actual common room again!) And, the Slytherins had magically charmed the Ravenclaw door handle so that every time they tried to answer the riddle to enter into their common room, it would insult them. The Ravenclaws were still trying to figure out how to get into their house, meanwhile staying with the Gryffindor's to keep out of the eyes of the teachers.

"I wish we could tell Professor McGonagall about this, she could put a stop to this," Hermione huffed.

"NO!" Ron shouted, "You can't do that! If the teachers found about Prank Week, we could all be expelled. No magic outside of class, remember?"

"I'm not saying I was going to, Ronald, I'm just saying I wish there was some way we could get back at Malfoy and the Slytherins."

Harry nodded in agreement. "Someone needs to teach them a lesson."

"We should get together, plan," someone suggested.

"All houses except Slytherin meet at the library tomorrow afternoon, spread the word," someone else said.

And so it was set. Thursday afternoon, over a hundred students showed up at the library, ready to take action.

"Ok, so we need an idea, something really good," Harry said, having unintentionally become the organizational leader, again. He seemed to have the unfortunate habit of being elected the leader of every group related activity that involved the use of magic.

Suggestions were thrown out at random, but none seemed to quite right. Turning their wands into toads was too childish. Drowning their common room with lake water seemed like a good idea, but Snape would find a way to blame it all on Gryffindor so they would have to clean up the mess. Someone even jokingly suggested sending dementors into their bedroom to give the Slytherins the dementor's kiss, but everyone agreed that most Slytherins didn't have souls anyways so it wouldn't be worth the trouble. When everyone was just about to give up hope, Fred and George came bounding in the door.

"Someone lookin' for us?" Fred asked.

"We heard a rumor that you guys are looking to get back at Slytherin," George said with a mischievous smile.

" 'Course we are!" Ron said, "Where have you two been?"

"Working on this," Fred said, pulling a small, brown box form behind his back, holding it up so everyone can get a good look at it.

"What is it?" someone asked.

"This, my friends, is a little something that we like to call 'Just Desserts'"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked suspiciously. Fred and George walked over to her, throwing their arms around her shoulder in a very big-brother like manner.

"These are very tricky little suckers to make," George said, opening up the box to hold out a piece of what looked like truffle chocolate. The aroma was surprisingly strong, but everyone seemed to smell something slightly different.

"Mmmmmm smells like… raspberry cream!" Hermione sighed.

"Are you mad? It's like triple chocolate treacle tart, mmm just like mum makes it," Ron said, his mouth watering.

"No, no, it's definitely dark chocolate pudding," Harry argued. It was so intoxicating, almost like the Amortentia potion that Slughorn had shown them in potions class.

Immediately, everyone starts arguing about what the chocolates smelled like, and it wasn't until Fred and George set off a few firecrackers that everyone stopped talking to listen.

"These chocolates are tainted with a few drops from the Amortentia potion," Fred explaind.

"Which is why they smell and taste differently to every person, depending on their individual tastes," George finished.

"But that's not even the most brilliant part of it!" Fred exclaimed, "You see, once someone takes a bite of one of these chocolates, they will immediately begin to see their dreams, what they want the most, coming true. It's like a very powerful hallucination, they can see and interact with what they envision, but no one else can. That's why we needed to use the Amortentia potion."

"And why would we want to do that?" Ron asked, "Cause personally, I don't really want to give Malfoy whatever he wishes. He'd probably envision kicking babies or burning down the castle!"  
"No you see, that's not all," George interrupted, "Once they begin to hallucinate, the spell will turn their dreams into nightmares, and whatever they envision coming true will suddenly go horribly wrong."

"It only lasts about an hour though," Fred sighed, "But it'll be fun to watch!"

"We couldn't exactly use this on all of the Slytherins, but if we picked out a few that we really wanted to target-"George started.

"Then we could get them these chocolates and have some real fun with them. As far as the others go, maybe we just set off some stink bombs in their room and steal all their robes!" Fred finished. "What'da think?"

"I think it's bloody brilliant," Ron said. "Let's go get Malfoy those chocolates!"

Everyone decided to wait to give out the chocolates until the end of dinner that night, slipping them on the Slytherin table so that they would go into effect just after everyone left the Grand Hall for some evening down time. Five Slytherins were chosen: Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Daphne Greengrass, and Flora Carrow.

"Sit still, Ron, you're going to give us away!" Hermione whispered under her breath.

Harry laughed. It was the perfect night for getting revenge. Shortly before dinner ended, Hermione got up, and walking close to the Slytherin table, managed to slip the chocolates on it. Fred and George had packaged them in small candy heart boxes, mixing one Just Desserts chocolate truffle in with two others in each box, labeling them from a "secret admirer". One sniff of the sweets and no one, not even Malfoy, would be able to resist having a bite.

Anxiously awaiting the fun to begin, the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs seemed to take very little interest in their dinner. And yet, no one from Slytherin seemed to take notice. As soon as dinner was over, Fred and George gathered their group together to pillage the Slytherin common room while Harry, Ron, and Hermione followed Malfoy outside into the corridors.

Crabbe and Goyle were the first to try the candies. They each swallowed all three in one gulp. Immediately, Crabbe's eyes lit up with disbelief and Goyle let out a tiny yelp of surprise.

"What's the matter with you two?" Malfoy asked,"Why are you acting so weird?"

Since neither Crabbe nor Goyle seemed to respond to him, Malfoy grew angry.

"Well fine then, have it your way. I'll see you both back in the common room later," he huffed, spinning on his heels and heading for the dungeon.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron remained hidden behind the corner, waiting to see what would happen to Crabbe and Golye before they followed Malfoy.

"It's a miracle!" Crabbe whispered.

"I think I've died, Crabbe. I'm in heaven," Goyle stated.

"Cupcakes. Treacle Tart. Butter Beer…"

"Turkish Delight. Apple crumble. Vanilla pudding. Chocolate Frogs!"

The two ran as fast as they could through the hall, pushing and shoving each other out of the way as they fought to get to the opposite end of the corridor.

"They're mine! I saw it first!" Crabbe shouted.

"I deserve them more than you!" Goyle protested.

As far as Harry could see, there was nothing there. Not a cupcake in sight. Nothing to fight over. But to Crabbe and Goyle, it was World War III, and only one person could take home the prize. Harry, Ron, and Hermione laughed as they watched Crabbe and Goyle push and shove their way to the end of the corridor. But just before they reached the wall, the determination on their faces gave way to something else. Disgust.

"The cake, the candy, it's…it's…rotting!" Goyle exclaimed.

"On second thought, you can have it," Crabbe said, taking his hands off Goyle's throat in order to cover his nose.

"It smells so bad! I can't-"

Both boys took off down the corridor, trying to escape the smell without any success. Harry, Ron, and Hermione laughed.

"Come on! Let's go see what Malfoy's up too!" Ron exclaimed.

The three tiptoed quietly down the hall until they found Malfoy standing in the hall, just outside of the Slytherin house entrance. The chocolates and heart shaped box lay on the ground at his feet. He had taken one bite. And that was all it took. His face had gone paler than usual, which Harry had thought was impossible, and his eyes were wide with amazement.

"What'da think he's seeing?" Ron whispered.

"Shhh!" Hermione snapped, "Just watch."  
Sure enough, Malfoy began to speak.

"Hermione?" he whispered.

Harry and Ron almost burst out laughing, and they had to cover their mouths to avoid making any noise. Hermione's face turned red with embarrassment.

"Hermione, I never knew you felt that way!" Malfoy exclaimed to the empty hallway.

"Comeon guys, let's go!" Hermione hissed.

"No way, this is gonna be too good," Ron snickered.

Malfoy walked over to the wall, grabbing the air like he was taking someone's hand.

"Not here, kitten, someone might see. And I'm a Slytherin, a pureblood, I can't be seen with someone like you."

He tried to walk away, but changed his mind, spinning around. He began to kiss the air. Harry and Ron were dying of laughter, and Hermione smacked both of them.

"This. Is. Not. Funny!" she snapped.

Malfoy pulled himself away, grabbing the air as if he was holding onto someone's sholders.

"You're a feisty thing," Malfoy said, "I know I'm gorgeous, but try to control yourself. At least until we get someone private."

But he immediately begins to make out with the air again, and the longer they watch, the harder it becomes to remain quiet.

Suddenly, Malfoy cried out in pain.

"Oww!" he yelped, pulling away from the invisible girl. "Hermione! What was that for?"  
His head snaped back as though he had been punched in the face, and he cried out again, reaching up to his nose.  
"Owwww!"he yelped, "I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding!"  
His head whipped right, then left, then right again as though he was being smacked in the face.

"Help me! Somebody help me, she's crazy!" He screamed, running down the hallway. Harry and Ron watched him go as he stumbled to the ground, tossing and turning on the floor, calling for help.

"Hermione, I think your boyfriend wants to break up," Ron snickered.

"I don't think he'll want you calling again anytime soon," Harry added.

"You two are terrible!" Hermione exclaimed.

"At least he got his just desserts."


End file.
